March 20, 2006

Miracle in progress

By Sharlene Logan

About five years ago I became allergic to almost all smells. Smoke, perfumes and fragrances of any kind set me into a coughing fit that would leave me weak. My voice became low and raspy, making my customer service job difficult. My diet was so limited I did not enjoy eating. Peanut butter became my staple food because it did not tickle my throat and make me cough.

The stress on my vocal cords began to wear on my emotions and I wanted to cry. But I lost the ability to cry real tears. I could feel the need to cry, my eyes would moisten, but without the tears I did not receive the emotional release I needed.

I have always enjoyed going to church, and singing was a big part of my worship. My raspy, whispery voice made speaking difficult and my singing was a garbled growl. I could no longer carry a tune. In order to take part in the song service I began mouthing the words. As time passed and my voice did not improve, I gave up trying to sing all together. I had not lost my faith in God, but I had lost my song.

In early 2003 I began to drag my left leg. It was more noticeable when I was tired or had been on my feet for a long time. My balance was so bad I needed assistance climbing up and down steps. I couldn’t walk across the church parking lot without assistance. I fell so often my hands and knees were always bruised and bleeding.

In late August, our family physician scheduled a CAT scan to determine if I had possibly suffered a stroke. When I learned that the scan revealed a tumor, questions raced through my mind. Was I going to die? Would I be crippled? How long had I had this?

“I’m scared,” I told my husband, Eldon. “What are we going to do?”

“I’m scared too,” he admitted. “We’ll just take it one day at a time.”

Faith came to my rescue. “I know one thing,” I said, “no matter how this turns out, I am in God’s hands and He will be with us all the way.”

When Pastor Dave Reese and our church family at First Assembly of God in Moberly, Mo., found out about the tumor, they wrapped their arms of love around me and began to intercede on my behalf. Other friends and family members found out and went to God in prayer. Thank God for the love and support of family and friends.

After speaking with a neurosurgeon in Columbia, he scheduled the first MRI. There would be three more to follow. The MRI showed the tumor was 30 millimeters — about the size of an egg. It was located just behind my left ear and was very close to the brain stem. None of the doctors in Columbia felt comfortable doing the surgery because the tumor was so close to the brain stem. I would have to go to University Hospital in St. Louis.

I told Pastor Dave we had to go to St. Louis. “When we’ve committed it all to the Lord,” he assured me, “ ‘changing boats in the middle of the stream’ is usually a good sign that God has something better in mind.”

At the Sunday evening church service I asked for special prayer. When Pastor Dave and the church family gathered around and prayed, I knew God had touched me. I went to work on Monday with a peaceful feeling that everything was all right. God had not healed me physically, but He had healed my spirit.

The neurosurgeon at St. Louis University Hospital was very kind. He was nearly certain the tumor was benign, but its position disturbed him. “This is the worst possible place to have a tumor,” he told us. “Ten years ago this type of surgery would not have been possible.”

Eldon and I listened as he went into detail, explaining how extremely dangerous the surgery was and the many possible side effects — loss of hearing, loss of vision, the inability to swallow, loss of facial control, paralyzing stroke.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003, was the first day of surgery. We prayed and committed everything to the Lord one more time. The surgery would take over 20 hours and would be done on two different days.

The first day of surgery was called “the approach.” This surgery lasted 11 hours. My head was bandaged with all the various tubes necessary for surgery left intact. I was taken to intensive care and kept under light sedation that night. The actual removal of the tumor would be done the following day, and this surgery would last 10 hours.

I remember very little about the night between surgeries but I do know that Eldon, our son, Mark, and Pastor Dave were with me the entire time. When I woke up after the second day of surgery it was their faces I remember seeing.

During the second night they removed the breathing tube. The next morning I was able to answer all the doctor’s questions. My voice was clear, no longer rasping. Praise God! I could follow the movement of the doctor’s hand when he tested my vision.

Although I was not allowed to have food or water for another day, I could swallow. Some time on Friday the oxygen tube was removed from my nose. Within a day or so I was eating regular food; no feeding tube was ever needed. Just eight days later, the Sunday before Christmas, I went home from the hospital.

I believe God can — and will — heal instantly. I also believe that God allows us to go through the “hard places” to strengthen us and to show His greatness to others. Thank God, He knows what is best for us.

I did not realize until I was able to write again that the lack of control in my hands was due to the tumor. I thought the weakness in my hands and arms was because I was almost 60 years old. I could barely read my own handwriting. Now my handwriting is better than ever. Praise be to God for this surprise healing!

My hearing on the affected side is somewhat muffled but will clear as I continue to heal. I can walk across the backyard without holding on to the clothesline and I can walk across the church parking lot unassisted. I can stand with my eyes closed and not lose my balance. I can look out a window without feeling like I am going to fall through it.

Once my eyes stabilize, my double vision can be corrected with simple surgery. My voice tires quickly and I sing an octave lower, but I no longer just mouth the words during worship.

And I can cry real tears!

When I found out I had a brain tumor, I prayed God would heal me instantly. He chose to use medical science. My experiences in life have taught me that God knows what is best for us. When I stop to think of the many things God has already done for me and the wonderful things He is going to do in the future, I give Him praise. Pastor Dave says I am a “miracle in progress.”

Eldon and Sharlene Logan attend First Assembly of God in Moberly, Mo. (Dave Reese, pastor).